I started this blog through voice to text on my phone and now I am trying to type which is proving to be painfully slow. It's been about six weeks after my last surgery /and if you don't know by now the results came back as grade 3 anaplastic astrocytoma again. The good is that it did not increase in grade. The problem this time is that it's not operable because if they were to operate it could cause more damage than good. If you have been following, Timmy made its reappearance in the corpus callosum (read more here: http://biology.about.com/od/anatomy/p/corpus-callosum.htm ) So what does this mean now? That means the Temodar was not working and we have to switch it up and try a new treatment. Some may have been under the impression that it was gone, never to return because my last MRI was clear, but that's just the thing with gliomas. I surly was not expecting it to come back so soon. There is always a possibility of it coming back even when I finish this treatment. Now the plan is every six weeks I take a series of five pills which is the chemo and every two weeks I take a medication by IV called Avastin which is an anti-body.
Let me back up for second...since surgery I've had some deficits namely weakness on my right side. I've had some cognitive issues and I'm not allowed to drive which is really difficult when you're so independent. It's very difficult relying on others for so much. Thank God for awesome family, friends and a husband who is so been incredibly helpful through the transition . I know that my independence will come back, its gotten better already. But up until three days ago I couldn't shower by myself, I could barely dress or get myself get out a chair. These things most 30 year olds take for granted. I miss working out, I miss CrossFit. I hope to be back to that soon. I started physical therapy last week and I am already seeing improvement. Also I am hoping to get my treadmill back from my sister so I can practice walking and getting stronger.
I've only had two treatments with IV and one with the pill and Dr. says that it should I should see significant improvement in 2 to 3 treatments. Here's to hoping for the best! In all honesty one of the hardest things I've ever faced is the side effects of where this tumor is located. It affects my bladder among other things which sounds like a small price to pay for having my life to live still but it's truly annoying getting up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom one to even three times. I take meds for that now and I shouldn't have to forever. Once the swelling goes down the symptoms should cease. Other small things that have been affected; one is my handwriting. I cannot sign my name but I know that that will come back.
When I was re-diagnosed now for technically the third time I was really depressed and didn't really want to do anything but I have so many friends and family rallying behind me and it's hard not to stay motivated and just keep pushing. I still have my faith and believe whole heartedly that if this is Gods plan then who am I to question? And I am NOT giving up. If I could inform people of one thing.. I don't know if they would understand but it takes a lot of energy to do just about anything right now including talk--although that has improved too--so if you haven't heard from me please don't take offense. People have been asking what can they do for me and if I knew I would ask but I also know that my pride gets in the way and I hate asking for help. Reaching out to hang out, go out means the world, and those who even just ask to come over and hang out is great even if only for an hour makes a difference.
I am not back at work yet, that's another place I miss a lot. But several co-workers have reached out over the past 6 weeks and for that I am grateful. Thanks as always for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers. The Devil will not win this war!!!
