In life, the only thing constant is the Trinity...and death

It's the beginning of October and so many things have happened since my last post. For one, my dear friend Lindsey whom I spoke about being placed in hospice in my last post passed away. I was able to visit with her 3 times before she passed. Her husband and family put on the most beautiful celebration of her life in July. What a blessing to be apart of such a wonderful memorial. Many people spoke about the impact Lindsey had on their lives and the Festival of Singers of Florida performed beautiful ballads on her behalf. They also played a video in which Lindsey was apart of the Festival of Singers before she passed. The song has become one of my favorite songs and really shows how incredibly talented Lindsey was as a singer (she's the soloist in the song). You can watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=787WnJ1JHLs

The month of June was a rough one of the Sontag Brain Tumor support meeting. We lost 3 members in the same month...all losing their battle to brain cancer. It's a grim reality and yet all too common when fighting this disease. I almost feel silly to be apart of the group because my diagnosis was Grade II and I never had to do chemo or radiation after my surgery. At the same time, I love being apart of the group and sharing in other's triumphs as well as struggles each month; celebrating clean scans and providing hope and prayer for returning masses. I feel apart of a minority in that most of the general public have no idea what it's like to face such adversity like brain cancer. So, Grade II or not, I am not necessarily better off than my friends in the support group. We are all fighting the same battle...all in different stages.

I also mentioned last time that I was having a follow up scan in July, three months after my 1 year scan. It came back clean and I am good to go back to every 6 months for now. So, my next scan will be in January. Hopefully then my insurance will help pay for it. Otherwise, I will continue to pay a small amount each month for the rest of my life.

On a super high note, I GOT ENGAGED! My boyfriend of two years, the one who has seen me through this battle since day one (certainly got more than he bargained for) proposed last Friday. :)
I couldn't be happier. He has been one of my biggest supports, along with my family, through this whole ordeal and I can't imagine facing what the future has for me without him. We haven't set a date or started making plans just yet, but soon enough we will and I may talk all about it in another blog.

I can't think of anything else at the moment to update so until next time, God Bless!

All too real

It's been a while since I have written anything regarding my journey with Timmy the Tumor. And I will get to the update soon. But, my primary reason for writing this entry today is because the prognosis of what we (all those affected by this disease) have is grim. I have learned that very quickly in the past two days alone. For those that have been following me, you all know that I attend the Sontag Brain Tumor Support Groups monthly in Jacksonville, FL. Just yesterday, our support group family was informed that a wonderful woman who attended with us lost her battle to the brain tumor she fought for so long. And again this morning, I was made privy to the information that a good friend of mine, who also attends(ed) the meeting is now on hospice, unable to speak, left to communicate with her "expressive eyes and wonderfully telling facial expressions." She is and has been fighting the fight of her life against the terrible thing we call a brain tumor.

I cried hearing the news. Doctors have said there is nothing more they can do for her. My heart is broken and my prayers go out to her husband and her family. She is in her early 30's. That's what makes it so real. I am 28 years old. While I have been blessed throughout my journey, I know at any moment I could be facing the same ordeal. I don't tend to linger on the life expectancy...in fact more often I hold on to the stories of success, the stories of survival. And Lindsay, my friend who is at this point losing her battle with her brain tumor, was diagnosed with a GBM...and I, a Diffuse Astrocytoma Grade II. My understanding through research and questions is that a GBM is essentially a Grade IV of what I have. Few, if any, win the battle against a GBM. From the time I met Lindsay I knew she was a fighter. She had been diagnosed, surgery immediately followed and like me, had very little side effects from her initial surgery. She underwent chemo and radiation which I fortunately have not had to experience. She went back to work as an Elementary School music teacher (and I hear she is VERY talented).I think it was about six months later in another support meeting when I realized she was slower than she used to be, had to concentrate more on walking, and was losing use of her right hand. She was still in high spirits as she updated the group on her progress and set backs. The next month she was wheeled in to the group in a wheelchair by her husband and mother who had traveled in to town to help care for her while her husband worked. At this point, she was no longer working. That was just last month. And now, I get a call this morning that they have placed her on hospice. It's unbelievable how quickly things can go from good to bad to worse. In the blink of an eye, your whole life can change.

Thinking about that concept--how your life can change in the blink of an eye--on the way to work this morning, it made me realize how insignificant some things are...and yet how often we allow the insignificant things to control what we do, our mood, how we react. For instance, just yesterday morning I was complaining to a friend on the phone about the traffic I was sitting in on the way to work. We complain when it rains outside, we complain when it's too hot. We complain when things are not what or how we want them to be. Reality set in this morning...why do I/we complain over things we have no control over? Why can't I/we just be grateful for every second we breathe the gift of life? Be thankful for the rain for it gives life to everything we see around us? Be blessed by the sun when it shines and heats our skin by its very touch...even if its 110 degrees outside? These are God's creations! They are privileges to humanity, not a right. At any moment, they could be taken by our Creator. And I realized that when Sontag Foundation lost a God fearing woman Monday, and hearing/seeing the struggle in another God fearing woman today. DO NOT TAKE LIFE FOR GRANTED!

As for an update on myself. I had a one year scan in April. I sent my scans to Dr. Chandler (my surgeon who as since moved to Atlanta, GA to work with Peadmont Brain Tumor Center) who stated that everything looked good and we were clear to do another scan in 6 months. Then, Dr. Petr called (I had to have my scans ordered through him as he works at Lyerly Neurosurgery where Dr. Chandler used to work) suggested having a scan in 3 months instead of 6 months. After discussing with Dr. Petr, Dr. Chandler also agreed. Both stated that they did not see anything of grave concern, but it would be beneficial to follow up sooner than later and thus a 3 month scan would be better than a 6 month scan. It should be scheduled in July coming up. I am not too concerned as I know Dr. Chandler has always been up front and brutally honest with me. So I will update when that time comes.

Otherwise, life has been life at its finest. My sister had my niece in October right after I updated the last time I believe. Then of course we celebrated Thanksgiving and then Christmas and New Years. I left my previous job working at a Methadone Clinic, started working at a Private Inpatient Substance Abuse called Lakeview Health Systems and I was there for about 6 months when the opportunity of a life time presented itself. In a whirlwind of interviews (5 in 3 weeks), I was selected to be the next new member of Wounded Warrior Project as a WWP Talk Specialist! It's been a very exciting adventure and one I plan to be apart of for a very long, long.....long time. I am so honored and blessed to be apart of an amazing organization. I thank God daily for this opportunity and it just serves as another reminder of how great life is. It serves as another reminder to be truly thankful for the gift of life and to be able to give the gift of life to the warriors we serve.

I may not know what life has in store for Lindsay, for me, or for any other person fighting this battle...but what I do know is that Jesus knows. He has already written our life story and knows the ending. I just want to enjoy the pages.

God Bless Yvonne and Rest in Peace 6/10/13

God Bless Lindsay and may you be surrounded in peace for all of the rest of your days. We love you girl!